You really coming over, don't trick.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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