Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
