I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
