Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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