People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize