That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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