Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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