So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Randomize
