windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Randomize