I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
