i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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