i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
