sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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