There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
