My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
