it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
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