So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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