3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
