C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
