I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
