its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
