You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
It's shark week go big or go home
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
