what day is it and did you see me today?
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
