Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
