so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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