we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
