If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
