walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
