evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
