her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
