Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
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