Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
