whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize