How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Randomize
