What a fucking waste of an outfit
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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