Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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