Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Randomize
