absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize