Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
