fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
