I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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