halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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