I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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