Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
