Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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