Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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