I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I think I just shit out all my problems.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
