i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
