If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
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