Three words: puerto rican gang bang
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
