my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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