He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
