I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
