I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
