Yo dont text me then not text me
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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