OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize