turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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