Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
