Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
