ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
How external is "for external use only"?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
