Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
