Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
